!Que Pasa Neng!
!Shin Chan: Flipa en colores!
&: Sora no Mukou de Saki Masuyou ni
'70s Robot Anime: Geppy-X
'89 Dennou Kyuusei Uranai
'96 Zenkoku Koukou Soccer Senshuken
'98 Koushien
'99 Koushien
*NSYNC: Get to the Show
-8
...Iru!
.hack//Fragment
.hack//G.U. vol. 1//Rebirth
.hack//G.U. vol. 2//Reminisce
.hack//G.U. vol. 3//Redemption
.hack//Infection Part 1
.hack//Link
.hack//Mutation Part 2
.hack//Outbreak Part 3
.hack//Quarantine Part 4
.hack//Vol. 1 x Vol. 2
.hack: Sekai no Mukou ni+ Versus - Hybrid Pack
0 Story
0-Kara no Shogi: Shogi Youchien - Ayumi Gumi
0-ji no Kane to Cinderella: Halloween Wedding
007 Legends
007 Racing
007: Agent Under Fire
007: Everything or Nothing
007: NightFire
007: Quantum of Solace
007: Racing / Medal of Honor / 007: Tomorrow Never Dies - Collector's Edition
007: The World Is Not Enough
007: The World is Not Enough
007: Tomorrow Never Dies
1 vs. 100
1, 2, Switch
1-Jikan de Wakaru Kabushiki Toushi
1/2 summer+
10 Minute Solution
10 Pin Bowling
10 Pin: Champions Alley
10,000 Bullets
10-Yard Fight
100 All-Time Favorites
100 Classic Books
100 Classic Games
100 Kiri Golf DS
100 Manyen Quiz Hunter
100% Pascal Sensei: Kanpeki Paint Bombers
1000 Cooking Recipes from Elle a Table
1001 Crosswords
1001 Touch Games
101-in-1 Explosive Megamix
101-in-1 Party Megamix
101-in-1 Sports Megamix
101-in-1 Sports Party Megamix
10101: "Will" the Starship
1080 Snowboarding
1080: Avalanche
11 Eyes: CrossOver
12-Ji no Kane to Cinderella: Cinderella Series Triple Zenkan Pack
12-Ji no Kane to Cinderella: Halloween Wedding
12-Sai. Honto no Kimochi
12-Sai. Koisuru Diary
12-Sai. Torokeru Puzzle Futari no Harmony
12-Toki no Kane to Cinderella Series Triple Zenkan Pack
120-en no Haru: 120 Yen Stories
12Riven: The Psi-Climinal of Integral
13-Sai no Hello Work DS
1500DS Spirits Vol. 10: Igo
1500DS Spirits Vol. 1: Mahjong
1500DS Spirits Vol. 2: Shogi
1500DS Spirits Vol. 3: Block Kuzushi
1500DS Spirits Vol. 4: Reversi
1500DS Spirits Vol. 5: Hanafuda
1500DS Spirits Vol. 6: Trump
1500DS Spirits Vol. 7: Chess
1500DS Spirits Vol. 8: Darts
1500DS Spirits Vol. 9: Futari-uchi Mahjong
1500DS Spirits: Mahjong V
1500DS Spirits: Shogi V
1552 Tenka Tairan
16 Tales: Vol. 1
16 Tales: Vol. 2
16 Tales: Vol. 3
16 Tales: Vol. 4
18 Card Games
18 Classic Card Games
18 Wheeler: American Pro Trucker
187 Ride or Die
1941: Counter Attack
1942
1943 Kai
1943: The Battle of Midway
1945 I&II The Arcade Games
1999 Hore, Mitakotoka! Seikimatsu
19: Neunzehn
19:03 Ueno Hatsu Yakou Ressha
2 Games For 1 Great Price!: Big Beach Sports / Big Beach Sports 2
2 Games In 1 Double Pack - Hot Wheels: World Race / Velocity X
2 Games In 1 Double Pack - SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom / Nicktoons: Freeze Frame Frenzy
2 Games In 1 Double Pack - SpongeBob SquarePants: SuperSponge / Revenge of the Flying Dutchman
2 Games In 1 Double Pack: Finding Nemo / Monsters, Inc.
2 Games In 1 Double Pack: Power Rangers: Time Force / Power Rangers: Ninja Storm
2 Games In 1 Double Value!: Monster Trucks / Quad Desert Fury
2 Games In 1: Disney Princess + Disney's The Lion King
2 Games In 1: Disney's Baren Bruder + Disney's Konig der Lowen
2 Games In 1: Disney's Brother Bear / Disney Princess
2 Games In 1: Finding Nemo / The Incredibles
2 Games In 1: LEGO Knights' Kingdom + LEGO Bionicle
2 Games In 1: Shrek 2 / Shark Tale
2 Games In 1: Sonic Pinball Party + Sonic Battle
2 Games In 1: Sonic Pinball Party / Columns Crown
2 Games In 1: SpongeBob SquarePants: SuperSponge / Rugrats Go Wild
2 Games In 1: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie / SpongeBob SquarePants and Friends in Freeze Frame Frenzy
2 Games for 1 Great Price!: Wheel of Fortune / Jeopardy!
2 Games in 1 Double Pack: Scooby-Doo / Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
2 Games in 1 Double Pack: Scooby-Doo and the Cyber Chase / Scooby-Doo! Mystery Mayhem
2 Games in 1 Double Pack: SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom / The Fairly OddParents! Breakin' Da Rules
2 Games in 1 Double Pack: The Incredibles / Finding Nemo: The Continuing Adventures
2 Games in 1! Archer Maclean's Mercury / Mercury Meltdown
2 Games in 1: GT Advance 3: Pro Concept Racing + MotoGP
2 Games in 1: Sonic Advance + Sonic Battle
2 Games in 1: The Incredibles / Finding Nemo
2 Games in 1: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie / Battle for Bikini Bottom
2 Games in 1: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie / Tak 2: The Staff of Dreams
2 Hits Pack: Sonic Forces / Puyo Puyo Tetris - Sega Collection
2 In 1 Game Pack: Shrek 2 / Shark Tale
2 In 1 Game Pack: Spider-Man / Spider-Man 2
2 In 1 Game Pack: Spider-Man Mysterio's Menace / X2 Wolverine's Revenge
2 In 1 Game Pack: Tony Hawk's Underground / Kelly Slater's Pro Surfer
2 In 1: Asterix & Obelix Jetzt Geht's Rund! + Asterix & Obelix XXL
2 Jeux En 1: Titeuf: Ze Gag Machine / Titeuf: Mega Compet
2 Pak Special: Dungeon Master / Creature Strike
2 Xtreme
2 for 1 Power Pack: Indianapolis 500 Legends/WWII Aces
2 for 1 Power Pack: Kawasaki Jet Ski/Summer Sports 2
2 for 1 Power Pack: Winter Blast/Summer Sports 2
2 in 1 Combo Pack: Sonic Heroes / Super Monkey Ball Deluxe
2 in 1 Combo Pack: Sonic Mega Collection Plus / Super Monkey Ball Deluxe
2-In-1 Fun Pack: Madagascar: Operation Penguin / Shrek 2
2-in-1 Party Pack: Shrek's Carnival Craze / Madagascar Kartz
200-Mannin no KanKen: Tokoton Kanji Nou
2002 FIFA World Cup
2003-Toshi Kaimaku: Ganbare Kyuukaiou
2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa
2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil
2020 Super Baseball
20th Century Video Almanac
21 Card Games
21 Emon: Mezase! Hotel Ou
21: TwoOne
24-ji no Kane to Cinderella: Halloween Wedding
24: The Game
25 to Life
250 Mannin no Kanken Premium - Zenkyuu Zen-Kanji Kanzen Seiha
250 Mannin no Kanken: Wii de Tokoton Kanji Nou
2999 Game Kids
2Dark
2K Essentials Collection: Bioshock / Borderlands / XCOM: Enemy Unknown
2K Essentials Collection: Bioshock / Borderlands/ XCOM: Enemy Unknown
2K Power Pack
2Tax Gold
3 Choume no Tama: Tama and Friends - 3 Choume Obake Panic!!
3 Count Bout
3 Games in 1: Tak / SuperSponge / Rugrats: I Gotta Go Party
3 Ninjas Kick Back
3 Ninjas Kick Back / Hook
3 in 1: Solitaire, Mahjong & Tangram
3-D Tetris
3-D Tic-Tac-Toe
3-D Ultra Pinball: Thrillride
3-D WorldRunner
3-Fun Yosou Umaban Club
3-Nen B-Gumi Kinpachi Sensei: Densetsu no Kyoudan ni Tate!
300: March to Glory
360: Three Sixty
3D Atlas
3D Baseball
3D Crazy Coaster
3D Dot Game Heroes
3D Game Collection: 55-in-1
3D Lemmings
3D MahJongg
3D Mine Storm
3D MiniGolf
3D Narrow Escape
3D Pocket Pool
3D Shooting Tsukuru
3DO Buffet
3LDK: Shiawase ni Narouyo
3X3 Eyes: Kyuusei Koushu S
3Xtreme
3on3 Freestyle
3x3 Eyes: Juuma Houkan
3x3 Eyes: Kyuusei Koushu
3x3 Eyes: Sanjiyan Henjyo
3x3 Eyes: Seima Kourinden
3x3 Eyes: Tenrinou Genmu
4 Elements
4 Elements II
4 Games on One Game Pak: GT Advance / GT Advance 2 / GT Advance 3 / MotoGP
4 Nin Shogi
4 Nin uchi Mahjong
4 Wheel Thunder
4 in 1 Action Pack
4 in 1 Row
4 in 1 Super CD
4-4-2 Soccer
4-in-1 Fun Pak
4-in-1 Funpak: Volume II
40 Winks
428: Fuusa Sareta Shibuya de
4X4 EVO 2
4X4 Evolution
4x4 EVO 2
4x4 Evolution
5 In One Fun Pak
5 Star Racing
5-Kyuu kara 1-Kyuu Kanzen Taiou: Saishin Kako Mondai - 2-Ji Shiken Taisaku - Eiken Kanzenban
5-nin no Koi Prince: Himitsu no Keiyaku Kekkon
50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
50 Cent: Bulletproof
50 Cent: Bulletproof G Unit Edition
50 Classic Games
50 Classic Games 3D
50 More Classic Games
6 Inch My Darling
6 in 1
6-Pak
64 Hanafuda: Tenshi no Yakusoku
64 Oozumou
64 Oozumou 2
64 Trump Collection: Alice no Waku Waku Trump World
64 de Hakken! Tamagotchi Minna de Tamagotchi World
688 Attack Sub
7 Blades
7 Days to Die
7 Sins
7 Wonders II
7 Wonders of the Ancient World
7 Wonders: Treasures of Seven
7'scarlet
700-Banjin no Atama o Yokusuru: Chou Keisan DS - 13000-Mon + Image Keisan
720 Degrees
77: Beyond the Milky Way
7th Dragon
7th Dragon 2020
7th Dragon 2020-II
7th Dragon III Code: VFD
8 Eyes
8-Bit Armies
88 Heroes
88 Heroes: 98 Heroes Edition
8BallAllstars
90 Minutes: European Prime Goal
90 Minutes: Sega Championship Football
989 Sports Demo Disc
99 Nendohan: Eitango Center 1500
99 no Namida
u/field A Boy and His Blob
A Boy and His Blob: Trouble on Blobolonia
A Bug's Life
A Bug's Life / Tigger's Honey Hunt / Tarzan - Collector's Edition
A Bug's Life Activity Centre
A King's Tale: Final Fantasy XV
A Labyrinth Game / Supermind
A Mars Moose Adventure - Cosmic Quest 1: City Sights
A Mars Moose Adventure - Cosmic Quest 2: Fairy Tale Island
A Mars Moose Adventure - Cosmic Quest 3: Race Through France
A Mars Moose Adventure - Stay & Play 1: In the Clubhouse
A Mars Moose Adventure - Stay & Play 2: In Mars' Bedroom
A Mars Moose Adventure - Stay & Play 3: In Lonnie's Classroom
A Mars Moose Adventure - Walkabout 1: The Natural History Museum
A Mars Moose Adventure - Walkabout 2: The Shakespeare Festival
A Mars Moose Adventure - Walkabout 3: World Sports Day
A Nanjarin
A Rose in the Twilight
A Witch's Tale
A Year at Pooh Corner
A-Rank Thunder Tanjouhen
A-Ressha de Ikou
A-Ressha de Ikou 2001
A-Ressha de Ikou 2001 Perfect Set
A-Ressha de Ikou 3D NEO
A-Ressha de Ikou DS
A-Ressha de Ikou DS: Navigation Pack
A-Ressha de Ikou MD
A-Ressha de Ikou Z: Mezase! Tairiku Oudan
A-Train 3D: City Simulator
A-Train 6
A-Train HX
A-Train: City Simulator
A-Train: Trains - Power - Money
A. IV Evolution: A-Ressha de Ikou 4
A.C.E.: Another Century's Episode
A.C.E.: Another Century's Episode 2
A.C.E.: Another Century's Episode 3: The Final
A.C.E.: Another Century's Episode R
A.III: A-Ressha de Ikou III
A.P.B.
A.S.P. Air Strike Patrol
A.W. Phoenix Festa
A/X-101
A2 Racer II
A2 Racer III: Europa Tour
A5: A-Ressha de Ikou 5
AAAHH!!! Real Monsters
ABBA: You Can Dance
ABC Monday Night Football
ABPA Backgammon
ABZU
AC/DC LIVE: Rock Band Track Pack
AC/DC Live: Rock Band Track Pack
ACB Total 2010/2011
ACME Animation Factory
ADK Tamashii
AFL 99
AFL Live 2004
AH-3 Thunderstrike
AI Igo
AI Igo 2003
AI Igo: Saturn Version
AI Mahjong
AI Mahjong 2003
AI Mahjong Selection
AI Shogi
AI Shogi 2
AI Shogi 2 Deluxe
AI Shogi 2000
AI Shogi 2003
AI Shogi 3
AI Shogi Selection
AIII S.V.: A-Ressha de Ikou 3 Super Version
AKB1/149: Renai Sousenkyo
AKB1/48: Idol to Guam de Koishitara...
AKB1/48: Idol to Koishitara...
AKB48+Me
ALC no 10-Punkan Eigo Master: Chuukyuu
ALC no 10-Punkan Eigo Master: Joukyuu
ALC no 10-Punkan Eigo Master: Shokyuu
ALF
AMF Bowling 2004
AMF Bowling Pinbusters!
AMF Bowling World Lanes
AMF Xtreme Bowling
AR Games
ARK: Survival Evolved
ASCII Entertainment Demo Disc
ASH: Archaic Sealed Heat
ATP Tour Championship Tennis
ATV Mania
ATV Offroad Fury
ATV Offroad Fury 2
ATV Offroad Fury 3
ATV Offroad Fury 4
ATV Offroad Fury Pro
ATV Offroad Fury: Blazin' Trails
ATV Quad Frenzy
ATV Quad Kings
ATV Quad Power Racing 2
ATV Racers
ATV Racing
ATV Renegades
ATV Thunder Ridge Riders / Monster Trucks Mayhem
ATV Wild Ride
ATV: Quad Power Racing
ATV: Thunder Ridge Riders
AV Poker World Gambler
Aa Harimanada
Aa Megami-sama
Aa Yakyuu Jinsei Icchokusen
Abadox: The Deadly Inner War
AbalaBurn
Abarenbou Princess
Absolute Supercars
Absolute: Blazing Infinity
Abunai Koi no Sousashitsu: Eternal Happiness
Abunai: Koi no Sousa Shitsu
Academy of Champions: Soccer
Accel World vs. Sword Art Online: Millennium Twilight
Accel World: Ginyoku no Kakusei
Accel World: Kasoku no Chouten
Accele Brid
Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth
Ace Combat 04: Shattered Skies
Ace Combat 2
Ace Combat 3: Electrosphere
Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War
Ace Combat 6: Fires of Liberation
Ace Combat 6: Kaihou e no Senka / Beautiful Katamari Damacy
Ace Combat 6: Kaihou e no Senka / Lost Planet: Colonies
Ace Combat Advance
Ace Combat Assault Horizon
Ace Combat X: Skies of Deception
Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War
Ace Combat: Assault Horizon Legacy
Ace Combat: Assault Horizon Legacy+
Ace Combat: Joint Assault
Ace Lightning
Ace o Nerae!
Ace of Aces
Aces of War
Aces of the Air
Acid
Acid Drop
Aconcagua
Acrobat Mission
Acrylic Palette: Irodori Cafe - Cheers
ActRaiser
ActRaiser 2
Action 52
Action Bass
Action Fighter
Action Girlz Racing
Action Man A.T.O.M.: Alpha Teens on Machines
Action Man: Destruction X
Action Man: Operation Extreme
Action Man: Robot Atak
Action Man: Search for Base X
Action Pachio
Action Pack: Prince of Persia Revelations, Driver 76, Rainbow Six Vegas
Active Health with Carol Vorderman
Active Life Explorer
Active Life Value Pack
Active Life: Extreme Challenge
Active Life: Magical Carnival
Active Life: Outdoor Challenge
Activision Anthology
Activision Classic Games
Activision Demo Action Pack
Activision Hits Remixed
Actua Golf 3
Actua Ice Hockey
Actua Ice Hockey 2
Actua Pool
Actua Soccer 2
Actua Soccer 3
Actua Soccer: Club Edition
Actua Tennis
Ad Lib Ouji ...to Fuyukai na Nakama-tachi!?
Adam & Eve
Adam's Venture Chronicles
Adam's Venture: Origins
Addams Family Values
Addie no Okurimono: To Moze from Addie
Adian no Tsue
Adiboo & Paziral's Secret
Adiboo and the Energy Thieves
Adibou Et L'Ombre Verte
Adidas Power Soccer
Adidas Power Soccer 2
Adidas Power Soccer 98
Adidas Power Soccer International '97
Adidas miCoach
Adrenalin Misfits
Adult Swim Collection
Advan Racing
Advance Guardian Heroes
Advance Wars
Advance Wars 2: Black Hole Rising
Advance Wars: Days of Ruin
Advance Wars: Dual Strike
Advanced Daisenryaku 2001
Advanced Daisenryaku: Deutsch Dengeki Sakusen
Advanced Daisenryaku: Europe no Arashi - Doitsu Dengeki Sakusen
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: DragonStrike
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Dragons of Flame
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Eye of the Beholder
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Heroes of the Lance
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Hillsfar
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Iron & Blood: Warriors of Ravenloft
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Pool of Radiance
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Treasure of Tarmin
Advanced V.G.
Advanced V.G. 2
Advanced World War: Sennen Teikoku no Koubou
Advent Rising
Adventure
Adventure II
Adventure Island
Adventure Island 3
Adventure Island II
Adventure Island II: Aliens in Paradise
Adventure Mega Pack
Adventure Player
Adventure Quiz Capcom World: Hatena no Daibouken
Adventure Time: Explore the Dungeon Because I DON'T KNOW!
Adventure Time: Finn and Jake Investigations
Adventure Time: Hey Ice King! Why'd You Steal Our Garbage?!
Adventure Time: The Secret of the Nameless Kingdom
Adventure of Little Ralph
Adventure of Tokyo Disney Sea
Adventures in Letterland With Jack and Jill
Adventures of Dino Riki
Adventures of Lolo
Adventures of Lolo 2
Adventures of Lolo 3
Adventures of Tom Sawyer
Adventures of Tron
Adventures of Yogi Bear
Adventures to Go!
Aedis Eclipse: Generation of Chaos
Aegis of Earth: Protonovus Assault
Aeon Flux
AereA
Aerial Assault
Aero Blasters
Aero Dancing F: Todoroki Tsubasa no Hatsu Hikou
Aero Dancing i
Aero Dancing i: Jikai Sakuma de Machite Masen
Aero Dancing: Torodoki Taichou no Himitsu Disc
Aero Elite: Combat Academy
Aero Fighters
Aero Fighters 2
Aero Fighters 3
Aero Fighters Assault
Aero The Acro-Bat
Aero the Acro-Bat
Aero the Acro-Bat 2
Aero the Acro-bat
AeroGauge
AeroWings
AeroWings 2: Air Strike
Aerobics Revolution
Aerobiz
Aerobiz Supersonic
Aerostar
AeternoBlade
Afraid Gear
Afraid Gear Another
Afrika
Afro Inu: The Puzzle
Afro Samurai
After Armageddon Gaiden: Majuu Toushouden Eclipse
After Burner
After Burner II
After Burner III
After Burner: Black Falcon
After Burst
After Hours Athletes
After... Wasureenu Kizuna
Again: Interactive Crime Novel
Agarest Senki Mariage
Agassi Tennis Generation
Agatha Christie's The ABC Murders
Agatha Christie: And Then There Were None
Agatha Christie: Evil Under the Sun
Agatha Christie: The ABC Murders
Age of Empires II: The Age of Kings
Age of Empires: Mythologies
Age of Empires: The Age of Kings
Agent Armstrong: Himitsu Shirei Daisakusen
Agent Collection
Agent Hugo
Agent Hugo: Hula Holiday
Agent Hugo: Lemoon Twist
Agent Hugo: Roborumble
Agents of Mayhem
Aggressive Inline
Aggressors of Dark Kombat
Agile Warrior F-111X
Ai Cho Aniki
Ai Sensei no Oshiete: Watashi no Hoshi
Ai Senshi Nicol
Ai Yori Aoshi
Aibou DS
Aidyn Chronicles: The First Mage
Aigiina no Yogen: Balubalouk no Densetsu Yori
Aigina no Yogen: Balubalouk no Densetsu Yori
Aikagi
Aikatsu Stars! My Special Appeal
Aikatsu! 2-nin no My Princess
Aikatsu! 365-Hi no Idol Days
Aikatsu! Cinderella Lesson
Aikatsu! My No.1 Stage!
Ailu de Puzzle
Air
Air Battle!
Air Buster
Air Cavalry
Air Combat
Air Conflicts Double Pack
Air Conflicts: Aces of World War II
Air Conflicts: Pacific Carriers
Air Conflicts: Secret Wars
Air Conflicts: Secret Wars - Ultimate Edition
Air Conflicts: Vietnam
Air Conflicts: Vietnam Ultimate Edition
Air Diver
Air Fortress
Air Hockey
Air Management '96
Air Race Championship
Air Raid
Air Raid 3
Air Raiders
Air Ranger 2 Plus: Rescue Helicopter
Air Ranger 2: Rescue Helicopter
Air Ranger: Rescue Helicopter
Air Rescue
Air Strike
Air Traffic Chaos
Air Zonk
Air-Sea Battle
AirBlade
AirBoarder 64
AirForce Delta
AirForce Delta Storm
AirForce Delta Strike
AirGrave
Airaki
Airborne Troops: Countdown to D-Day
Aircars
Airlock
Aironauts
Airs Adventure
Airship Q
Airwolf
Airwolf (Japan)
Aishiau Kotoshika Dekinai
Aisle Lord
Aitakute...Your Smiles in My Heart
Aiyoku no Eustia: Angel's Blessing
Aka-Chan Doubutsu Sono
Akagawa Jirou Mystery: Tsuki no Hikari
Akagawa Jirou Mystery: Yasoukyoku - Hon ni Manekareta Satsujin
Akagawa Jirou no Yuurei Ressha
Akagawa Jirou: Majotachi no Nemuri: Fukkatsusai
Akagawa Jirou: Yasoukyoku
Akagawa Jirou: Yasoukyoku 2
Akagi: Touhaiden
Akagi: Yami ni Furitatta Tensai
Akai Ito
Akai Ito DS
Akai Ito Destiny DS
Akai Katana
Akai Suna Ochiru Tsuki
Akane Iro ni Somaru Saka Portable
Akane Iro ni Somaru Saka: Parallel
Akatsuki no Amaneka to Aoi Kyojin
Akatsuki no Goei Trinity
Akaya Akashiya Ayakashino
Akazu no Ma
Akazukin ChaCha
Akiba's Beat
Akiba's Trip
Akiba's Trip 2+A
Akiba's Trip Plus
Akiba's Trip: Undead & Undressed
Akihabara Dennou Kumi Peta Pies!
Akira
Akira Psycho Ball
Akiyama Jin No Suugaku Mystery
Akko de Pon! Ikasama Hourouki
Akko ni Omakase! Brain Shock
Akogare Girls Collection: Lovely Youchien
Akogare Girls Collection: Mister Donut DS
Akogare Girls Collection: Ohanaya-San Monogatari
Akogare Girls Collection: Pika Pika Nurse Monogatari
Akogare Girls Collection: Suteki ni Nurse Days
Akudaikan
Akudaikan 2: Mousouden
Akudaikan 3
Akudaikan Manyuuki
Akudaikan Manyuuki: Seigi no Yaiba
Akuji the Heartless
Akuma Zensho Dainishuu
Akuma-kun: Makai no Wana
Akumajou Dracula
Akumajou Dracula X: Gekka no Yasoukyoku
Akumajou Special: Boku Dracula-kun
Akuu Senki Raijin
Al Unser Jr.'s Road to the Top
Al Unser Jr.'s Turbo Racing
Alabama Meets Will Vi
Aladdin Magic Racer
Alan Hansen's Sports Challenge
Alan Wake
Alarm for Cobra 11: Crash Time
Alarm fuer Cobra 11 Vol II
Albert Odyssey
Albert Odyssey 2: Jashin no Taidou
Albert Odyssey: Legend of Eldean
Album Club: Mune Kyun * Saint Poria Jogakuin
Alcahest
Aldynes
Aleck Bordon Adventure: Tower & Shaft Advance
Alekhine's Gun
Alex Ferguson's Player Manager 2001
Alex Ferguson's Player Manager 2002
Alex Kidd in Miracle World
Alex Kidd in Shinobi World
Alex Kidd in the Enchanted Castle
Alex Kidd: High-Tech World
Alex Kidd: The Lost Stars
Alex Rider: Stormbreaker
Alexandra Ledermann: Summer Camp Adventures
Alexi Lalas International Soccer
Alfa Romeo Racing Italiano
Alfred Chicken
Alfred's Adventure
Alia's Carnival! Sacrament
Alias
Alice in Cyberland
Alice in Wonderland
Alice no Paint Adventure
Alice on Borderlines
Alice's Mom's Rescue
Alice: Madness Returns
Alien
Alien 3
Alien Breed Trilogy
Alien Brigade
Alien Chaos 3D
Alien Crush
Alien Front Online
Alien Hominid
Alien Invaders Plus!
Alien Monster Bowling League
Alien Olympics
Alien Raiders
Alien Resurrection
Alien Soldier
Alien Storm
Alien Syndrome
Alien Trilogy
Alien vs. Predator
Alien vs. Predator: The Last of His Clan
Alien: Isolation
Alienators: Evolution Continues
Aliens Versus Predator: Extinction
Aliens in the Attic
Aliens vs. Predator
Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem
Aliens: Colonial Marines
Aliens: Infestation
Aliens: Thanatos Encounter
Alisia Dragoon
Alive
All 1
All Grown Up! Express Yourself
All Japan Pro Wrestling Featuring Virtua
All Japan Woman Pro Wrestling
All Kamen Rider: Rider Generation
All Kamen Rider: Rider Generation 2
All Kamen Rider: Rider Revolution
All Night Nippon Super Mario Bros.
All Round Hunter
All Star 5-A-Side Football
All Star Action
All Star Cheer Squad
All Star Cheer Squad 2
All Star Karate
All Star Pro-Wrestling
All Star Racing
All Star Racing 2
All Star Soccer
All Star Tennis '99
All Star Tennis 2000
All Star Tennis 99
All Star Watersports
All-Pro Basketball
All-Pro Football 2K8
All-Star 1997 Featuring Frank Thomas
All-Star Baseball
All-Star Baseball 2000
All-Star Baseball 2001
All-Star Baseball 2002
All-Star Baseball 2003
All-Star Baseball 2004
All-Star Baseball 2005
All-Star Baseball 99
All-Star Fighters
All-Star Mahjong: Kareinaru Shoubushi Kara no Chousen
All-Star Major League Baseball
All-Star Professional Wrestling II
All-Star Professional Wrestling III
All-Star Slammin' D-Ball
All-Star Tennis 2
Alleyway
Allied Ace Pilots
Allied General
Alnam no Kiba: Juuzoku Juuni Shinto Densetsu
Alnam no Tsubasa: Shoujin no Sora no Kanata e
Alone in the Dark
Alone in the Dark 2
Alone in the Dark: Inferno
Alone in the Dark: One-Eyed Jack's Revenge
Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare
Alpha Beam With Ernie
Alpha Mission
Alpha Mission II
Alpha Protocol
Alpha and Omega
Alpine Racer 3
Alpine Ski Racing 2007
Alpine Skiing 2005
Alpine Skiing!
Alshark
Alter Echo
Altered Beast
Altered Beast: Guardian of the Realms
Altered Space: A 3-D Alien Adventure
Alundra
Alundra 2: A New Legend Begins
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
Alzadick: Summer Carnival `92
Amaekata wa Kanojo Nari ni.
Amagami
Amagi Shien
Amagon
Amagoushi no Yakata
Amagoushi no Yakata Portable: Ichiyagi Wa, Saisho no Junan
Amatsumi Sora ni! Kumo no Hatate ni
Amazing Adventures: The Forgotten Ruins
Amazing Island
Amazing Penguin
Amazing Tater
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RR link Previous chapter (RETRO COSMOS)
#2 - THE TWISTED HEIST
A star had just gone out in the distance, sending its entire system, planets and moons, into oblivion. So, what was a simple life compared to a sun? Did the human existence that earthlings highly cherished in the past deserve so much fuss?
I would say no, of course, because I’m a cat. Our condition to us felines will never have to pale in front of a shiny astronomical object. Mine specifically, don’t you think?
Oswald Avery was merely a Homo sapiens. A retired buccaneer, fermenting his adulterated wine on the carcass of a drifting supercargo; all under the remodeled features of a former Galactic Trade Company’s pilot. Alas, regardless of the genetic disguise, the FID rarely lied. It hadn’t fooled us and the masks had fallen off. Just like him.
I’m such a poet.
Anyway… Avery had had a long life of crimes and adventures. He was full of energy in his youth. And as in the universe, nothing is lost, nothing is created, everything is transformed, this energy was reincarnated in a nice amount in our bank account once the old picaroon flatlined.
“We finally got it! And it was a traditional Martian contract. Payable remotely, on condition that the FID is validated. How about that?”
“God… Lee … you’re talking to yourself and it’s only 8 a.m.,” Ali grunted behind me.
My couch potato of an associate had her head still stuck in the cereal box she was nibbling before falling asleep binge-watching Captain Caveman on ABC.
“To begin with, it’s 8 p.m., Martian Time. And we do have a positive balance in our bank account for the first time in months! Do you know what that means, partner?”
“Shopping, bitches!” she shouted as she hurled herself into the void, gliding to the bathroom in the weightlessness.
With the cardboard box on the top of her head, this sugar bishop was swimming after the remnant cereals that floated on her path like Ms. Pac-Man.
“Hell! Have I just opened Pandora’s box?”
The liner Danaë and its forty-eight post-nuclear Baltimore-XVIII heavy reactors made its annual cruise from Lunapolis to the suburbs of Ceres, in the belt. Its figurehead with the effigy of the Greek princess was a two hundred meters long, green ceramic statue. The size of the ship exceeded some inhabited asteroids’ diameter so it possessed its own substantial gravitational field.
“It’s quite a symbol of the decline of humanity,” I said to Ali, pointing with my chin at this unique work of art.
“Why?” my partner asked without caring whatsoever. “Spill the beans, Plato.”
The Kitty had obtained permission to dock and began its approach. I concluded then:
“Humanity no longer erects great and beautiful things without turning them into a shopping mall.”
The gold and ivory Danaë was one of the most luxurious epicenters of human decadence in the system; comprising hotels, casinos, megastores and amusement parks spread over a dozen centrifugal rings. There was something for everyone’s wallet, ready to be emptied, whether one was welcomed at the port or had joined during the crossing.
And to my great regret, the cape of the Danaë was just passing by us that week.
“I believe we should keep our savings for the maintenance of the Swallow. The dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree. Some parts need to be changed…”
“You’re such a bore with your adult talks,” my partner said as she left the fitting room of a luxury chain overlooking the main deck. “What do you think of that? Sexy as fuck, right?”
Her camisole didn’t hide a single inch square of flesh and I subtly pointed it out to her:
“It’s a bit of a back-alley Sally.”
I took a blow on the nose which, this time, was amply justified.
“There’s nothing chicer than Borderline. You don’t know anything about fashion. It’s crazy!”
She was furious. It was entertaining. But she was right. The human female fads were way over my head and I wasn’t a good adviser. Mostly because I didn’t care. At all.
Fortunately, the upscale shopping mall where we were staying had provided us with a free assistant who was even more servile than a decerebrate canine. As usual, the robot carrier that accompanied us did the job by flattering her with its unbearable honeyed tone:
“I find you charming, Madame. Here we have the latest fashionable lingerie on Mars. It’s an ephemeral collection that appears to have been specially made to mold your discreet curves, which seem to have been sculpted by the seraphim.”
Ali gave me a satisfied look that I pretended to ignore. Then she backtracked into the fitting room to put her black suit and pink jacket back on.
I took the opportunity to climb on the shoulders of this silly robot, servant of our servants and last link in this hierarchy whose origins go back to Ancient Egypt.
“One more move like this and I’ll turn you into a gum dispenser.”
The automaton apologized before my partner’s head emerged from behind the silk curtains which were far too fragrant for my taste.
“I just checked; it’s too expensive anyway. I ain’t buying it,” she announced. “Can you order a taxicab to take us to the hotels’ ring? You’d be a sweetheart.”
Happy to leave this irascible human with her robotic slave, I proceeded to the nearest service terminal. By the time I requested a vehicle, a flying cigarette dispenser could light me a Lucky.
“It’s forbidden to smoke in our store, Monsieur.”
The customer attaché, in his blue silk suit with elephant legs, had appeared out of nowhere. Yet, with such a shiny tie, this punk should have dazzled me from the Kuiper belt.
“Please be kind and get me a Pepper Coke instead of ruining my eyesight…” I grumbled in response.
I was in an awful mood. I definitely hated shopping. And people. Yet the pedestrian avenues of the Danaë had a very exceptional population density. Perms were making a strong comeback, as were neon tattoos and overly open flowered shirts. Under the false UVA/B sun, it was a true dance of flesh, steel and plastic bodies with assumed nudity. Implants and surgery erased the hazards of the genetic lottery for better or worse. It was so superficial. So futile. So human.
“Hello, handsome!” Ali cried out, a large smile across her face. “Lee? You didn’t tell me you knew Christophe Lambert! You know I'm a huge Highlander fan!”
My partner had just joined me, arms loaded with bags massive enough to live in it, start a family and park my chromic Pontiac Firebird. All were filled with C$400 t-shirts and sneakers that she didn’t need and would only put on once.
“No smell. Hologram,” I conclude by throwing my cigarette butt through the smiling ghost.
“Shame!” Ali sighed.
She then looked at her terminal, and continued:
“Do you think I have time to grab a watch module? There are sales in the Japanese aisle! I saw some GD-8 that would go well with my new Game Pocket! This boat is fucking rad!”
Ali could not stop humming Who wants to live forever. I had to rub my temples to avoid a migraine before the arrival of our taxicab five minutes later.
These were miniature limousines with double fake leather benches, facing each other at the back. There was a minibar with expensive multicolored drinks and sugar-soaked snacks, the sapiens’ primary source of calories and high Gs space travel drug. For the sensitive, the smart-fridge provided diet sodas with aspartame, but no one took it. Finally, there were free Gauloise cigarettes next to the ashtray on the armrest. And even Tylenol!
“What a time to be alive!”
Right after leaving the fashion district, a soft voice of a young woman, who appeared to us through the armored porthole separating her from her customers, finally emerged from the cockpit:
“Good evening! I’m Miss Meera. At your service. Hotel de Saint-Malo, correct?”
I nodded. She smiled at us. She was beautiful with her incredibly dark night metal skin that contrasted strongly with her silvery-white hair. She also had charming ivory eyes with absolutely no reflection. They were a mesmerizing void of light.
In fact, it was so rare to deal with a real person, and not an AI, that we engaged rapidly in a lovely and honest discussion with Meera. We were mostly talking about life on the Danaë. As she stated, the rules on board were very strict, even military. All was done to make sure that the customer had the most pleasant time at the expense of everything else. Finally, according to her, her condition wasn’t the most to be pitied in the cosmos. And she was fully satisfied with this precarious semi-nomadic existence.
“And what about you? Are you here on vacation or in transit for work?” she eventually asked. “What do you do for a living?”
Should we have told her that we were executing infamous people so Ali would collect expensive t-shirts and I could fulfill my nicotine addiction?
“Don’t get me wrong but I saw that you had a gun. Are you in the police… or are you pirates?”
It wasn’t the first time someone asked us this question. Although weapons were allowed on most ships and stations, it wasn’t wise to display them unless you were looking for trouble. Unfortunately, hiding such a large caliber under such a tight vest was a Herculean task.
“You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone”, simply quoted Ali, her forehead against the window covered with scented stickers.
Meera laughed before continuing:
“Very well, Al Capone. I understand that you’re not the type to let yourself be taken advantage of.”
The taxicab entered the central expressway after the water park then suddenly swerved violently to the left.
“What is going on?” I gasped.
After crushing the safety railing, we fell from one rotating bridge to the other in a frantic cavalcade. Judging by Meera’s swear words, this ride wasn’t part of the show.
Avoiding the stalls of an art market and a group of children coming out of an arcade, the driver finally managed to recover in extremis. It was about time, because within seconds we were passing through the transparent protective wall of the hotels’ deck.
“A thousand apologies! Another one of those mor… clients from the Middle System who doesn’t know how to use a rental car,” she shouted through the window. “Are you guys hurt?”
“No, thanks to you,” I replied, my tail spiked over my head, taped to Ali’s neck now decorated with bloody scratches.
Although my human forehead now had a bump on it the size of a golf ball, it was true that Meera had just saved our lives. This young girl had unsuspected driving talents despite taxicabs’ lack of handling. She didn’t belong here, playing the steward in a yellow circus uniform. This woman should have been a fighter pilot; or a NASCAR driver on Canyon Creek.
“In any case, here you’re almost in front of your hotel,” she replied. “You don’t have to pay anything, and I apologize again for the scare.”
From the outside, the taxicab now looked like a can of nutrigel after going through a crusher. Yet, it still worked. May God Darwin bless Venusian steel.
After thanking her, we wished Meera a good day. But the cockpit window suddenly went down on the passenger side. The smile of the driver had faded. She had tears at the corner of her white eyes.
“Wait!” she asked. “This weapon… do you really know how to use it?”
So, life on the Danaë wasn’t so sweet. As Meera explained to us in a secluded alleyway, a trio of criminals had come to threaten her a few days earlier, after finding she was a bodacious driver. They were preparing a heist in one of the flying city’s fifty casinos. The young woman was now ready to pay the price to settle the case.
“What is your opinion about this whole situation?” I asked Ali, once in our room, a small yet cozy suite whose glass walls overlooked the vacuum of space.
My human had applied a brownish ointment on her hump, which disappeared soon after, leaving only a slight pinkish hematoma.
“Meera said she would provide us with more details tomorrow. However, if she ponies up the cash, I don’t see why we would refuse. We ain’t mercs but these three guys must have a bounty on their heads. Let’s do our job, right?
“Indeed…”
All we had to do was wait for more instructions. Fortunately, it had been months since we had been able to take days off except on miserable gas stations full of drug addicts, implants scavengers and prostitutes.
After another morning of shopping, Ali went to the thalassotherapy center of the neighboring hotel. Her main occupation? Overeating sushi made by 3D nutrigel printing while getting massages.
Alas, I didn’t have the time to bask under the false sun of the lakeside resort and get my belly stroked. As a good captain, I had to go to the maintenance to fix the numerous damages of the Kitty. As always, the bill would be higher than expected.
Everything was orchestrated so that we would never hold a positive balance in this corrupted system. We had to chain contract after contract.
But Meera’s gig didn’t sound right. There was something I didn’t like and I couldn’t catch it yet. All my cat sensors were in the red. Unfortunately, the bounty hunter’s ones only saw the green of the bills.
Don’t judge me.
The young taxicab driver had finally contacted Ali again by holoconference in the early afternoon, shortly before I joined her at the exit of the tanning booths. Or as I called them: human toasters.
“Have you finished roasting like a Thanksgiving turkey?” I asked her as she plunged into the icy water of the adjacent basin, under the lustful gaze of a group of cadets from the Marine Academy.
“Meera will pick us up with a new taxicab in the hotel parking lot,” she whispered once back to me. “Alongside her, we will meet two of the criminals at the burglary location, shortly before midnight.”
“Go on.”
“We take care of these guys and we catch up with the last one: the band leader, in the storage cavities of the hangar reserved for the ship’s logistics. Below the last rotating ring.”
In Eve’s costume, Ali came out of the basin, not without deliberately drenching me. The water had a nasty chemical taste from being filtered day after day.
“Do you have any intelligence on these jokers?” I insisted while lighting a cigarette.
“The Broadway Gang. Three brothers. C$45,000 for the trio. We will also be able to recover at least C$10,000 of Techno-federal tax on their ship depending on its condition. Easy cash with the dollar credits that Meera promises us…”
Now sitting on the ledge, my partner splashed her feet to demonstrate her eagerness to head back swimming.
“Excellent! This will pay for the maintenance and allow us to save some money on our way to the belt.”
“Can I go now?” she asked, sliding back into the water.
“You may,” I had concluded before seeing her leave for her absurd wanderings that would fill her afternoon.
I myself was very busy making eyes at the wealthy guests of the hotel restaurant to glean a few pieces of Peking duck or juicy crabs. They were real farm animals from Mars. Not nutrigel. It was worth abandoning a little dignity aside.
With a full belly, I finally joined Ali in the middle of the evening. Arriving in the corridor of our suite, I crossed the group of cadets noticed near the swimming pool. They seemed tired but blissfully smiling as they just discovered the nirvana. And I knew why…
“Ali? Are you ready?” I said as I walked through the half-open bedroom door.
Her dressing gown had been thrown on the floor. Her gun and badge were resting on the bedside table against a giant bottle of Koala Springs soda and a pyramid of little Yoyo Mints.
To be honest, I expected a bigger mess.
“Gimme five minutes,” she replied while in the shower.
An hour later, we met Meera in the staff parking lot behind the recycling stations. Without further discussion, we joined the expressway in the taxicab. Between two noisy info-ads, the radio played Sweet Transvestite then the rest of the mythical Rocky Horror soundtrack.
“I wonder what Tim Curry’s up to these days,” asked Ali while browsing the intraweb on her implant.
“Being legendary as usual,” I answered.
Afterwards, the casino was in sight. But once on the forecourt illuminated by the gold and silver bulbs, we heard gunshots and screams. My partner and I quickly realized that this was a violent robbery rather than a modest heist.
“What the fuck, Meera?” Ali asked, turning to the porthole that separated us from the cockpit.
There was a hint of irritation in her voice.
Meera remained mute, her hands on the wheel and her gaze forward. In the rear-view mirror the young woman looked panicked.
The right door of the vehicle suddenly opened and two men sat down in front of us. They were wearing theater masks: the first was Melpomene, the sad grimace of tragedy; the second, Thalia, the twisted smile of comedy. Each brigand carried a huge metal block under his arm; drawers that were sure to be full of cash. On the other hand, they held their still smoking ZeG-4 machine guns even more firmly.
When they saw us, they both gasped, in unison:
“What the fuck, Meera?”
One… two. One… two.
Four holes in their faded tuxedo. Four bullets as big as a cat’s eye that silenced them forever, before slowly repainting the bench in red.
“What the fuck was that? You killed them!” Meera shouted this time, as she started the electric engine. “You had tasers at your disposal, you psychos!”
She had finally turned around. Her voice was quivering. She was no longer panicked, but angry.
The tasers must have slipped between the seats because I hadn’t seen them. My partner raised her eyebrows and it made me realize that their use had never been in mind.
“We’re bounty hunters, not 9 to 5 social workers!” continued Ali. “Now, you gotta motor, otherwise the cops will shoot our ass on the spot before we could even meet the third dude!”
Meera put her foot on the pedal and one could almost hear the noise of the thrusters melting the white asphalt.
“I can perceive the sirens, Ali,” I concluded before Meera entered the ring's external road reserved for logistic transport.
We then had the shortest car chase we had taken part in. The Danaë security forces may not have had the best elements in the system, but Meera’s talents didn’t give them a chance. We had crossed half a dozen rotative bridges to the rhythm of Take on Me, zigzagging between expressways and maintenance tunnels to arrive before the song ended at the deserted logistics hangar.
It was similar to a huge supermarket with honeycombed shelves. Each of these garages, dimly illuminated by red LEDs, housed a delivery or transport vessel. There was the most impressive fleet I had ever seen.
In one of the first level’s cells stood, between a set of clamps, a Swift-0 scout, from Peugeot Corp, with wings spread. The Swifts were small and very high-end single-seaters. They could be modified to integrate weapons systems, but their primary characteristics were velocity and evasion.
Leaning on the flank of the mono-turbine, the last of the three criminals, a tall blond man with a “Chevy Chase” prominent chin was looking down on the approaching taxicab.
“Were they planning to escape on that ship? The three of them?” I remarked when the vehicle stopped a few meters from the small vessel.
But Meera ignored me.
“Hand me the money, I’m going out. That was the agreement.”
The porthole opened at its base, allowing us to pass the steel cash drawers. Once the taxicab’s ignition was turned off, only their holographic numbers glowed in the dark.
“It’s all over if his cronies don’t stick their noses out of the car,” Ali replied, finally giving the second drawer away. “He’s going to figure out that it went south. He will kill you!”
Outside, the man was getting impatient. Blinded by the taxicab’s headlights, he came closer before exclaiming:
“Zéphyr, are you there? Where are my brothers? Security is closing all the departure modules. We will be stuck here, for fuck’s sake!”
He now had a gun in his hand. A machine gun identical to those of his companions currently bathed in their blood, nailed to the seats.
“Zéphyr? Wait… I know that name!” I meowed to myself.
The doors and portholes of the taxicab were locked. Ali and I were now stuck in the back with the two flatlined and most wanted criminals on the ship.
“Sorry guys, but I’ll handle the rest.”
Miss Meera, alias Zéphyr, smiled at us through the armored glass just before leaving the cockpit by the driver’s door.
“What a fucking piece of shit… Lee? Do you have a plan? I think the windows are bulletproof. I don’t feel like testing. Especially if it’s bouncing around with us inside, we will be turned into ground beef!”
“Did you forget who I am, my dear?”
I was already crawling under the seat, between a pair of Méduse shoes and half nibbled fried rat wings. It was time to demonstrate all my infiltration skills learned from Ninja Gaiden. Unfortunately, both the crab and the duck slowed me down and my belly remained for a few seconds stuck under the driver’s seat with my head on the brake pedal. How outrageous!
From the porthole, I saw Ali watching what was happening in front of us, near the ship. Our eyes met for a brief moment and I could read on her lips: “diet kibble”.
“Better off dead!” I shouted.
My paw reached the bottom of the dashboard, activating the mechanical opening of doors and windows. And, accidentally, the loudest horn in this dimension.
“My bad!”
My sapiens immediately jumped outside, pointing her gun to Zéphyr. Surprised by the thunderous din, her target pivoted towards us, uncovered, turning her back to the human with the magnificent chin and his ZeG-4 who yelled:
“What in the whole universe is that? Wait! I know her! Did you bring us bounty hunters? You were clearly planning to double-cross us!”
The man shouted and his gun produced a rain of bullets. It first hit the windshield of the taxicab, passing through the conductor compartment where I was. The rounds bent the windscreen, but it held. This wasn’t, however, the case for the hood, protecting the engine and the reservoir full of coolant, which ended up covering the seat and my face.
Fortunately, the sticky alcohol allowed me to escape from this trap and jump out of the vehicle through the window I had previously opened. But, once again, a fire ring enveloped the ZeG-4’s cannon.
“This is how I die…” I meowed, eyes closed.
I was violently tackled and hit the ground. Zéphyr had saved me at the last moment, just before bullets obliterated the front of the taxicab.
Other projectiles ricocheted off the metal money drawers on the floor and got lost in the ceiling, activating the fire sprinklers. This incident triggered a silent light alarm throughout the hangar while the mobster prepared a new salvo.
“Don’t hurt my pilot, you narbo!” roared my partner.
Ali, this time taken as a target, retaliated. She fired a single shot towards the rascal with a formidable precision. No one knew how to handle such a heavy gun as she did. She was my human. She was the best in her field: murder.
And I taught her everything. Almost.
The leader of the robbers tried to reload the magazine of his weapon, unaware that his heart had been punctured a few seconds before. Adrenaline was doing its job. But the blood loss caused by the explosion of the aorta at its base, near the ventricles, gradually stopped him in his gesture. His pressure dropped and the bloodstream no longer reached the brain sufficiently. He was already in a coma when his shoulders touched the ground. He was luckier than the average Joe and died a few seconds later.
“Is everything all right?”
My voice was trembling, still in shock from this disaster. I was wet and frozen.
Zéphyr got up with difficulty. Next to us, one of the metal drawers was opened, revealing a bunch of green bills and a much stranger booty: an eight-inch gold diskette with suspicious Chinese symbols.
Well… I couldn’t read them but Chinese symbols on stuff are always suspect, aren’t they?
But there were more important matters. Because my partner, on the other hand, stayed on the ground. Blood was dripping from her black suit and mixed with the clear firefighting fluid that was falling like an endless rain.
I tried to talk to her again but my voice was lost in a groan.
“Why are you whining, you big baby? It’s just blood.”
With her nose in a puddle, my sapiens smiled at me. Her left hand was compressing her abdomen. The bullet had passed through the external oblique muscle, far from the stomach.
It wasn’t that bad after all but she had scared me. And that deserved a scratch on the wrist that made her scream:
“What the fuck?”
“And the medical expenses? Have you thought about medical expenses? We don’t have insurance!”
“God, Uncle Scrooge! I hate you!”
“We won’t be able to fix the Kitty with your heroic outbursts!” I fulminated to mask my joy of seeing her in one piece.
“I will kill you, Muppet! I almost died! I don’t give a fuck about your rusty trash can which flies like a brick!”
It was true that we hadn’t had a fight for a long time.
“Guys…” intervened Zéphyr.
“What?”
Ali and I had spoken together.
“These three ruffians had planned to steal the diskette drive from me once I got back. I needed a hand, so… thank you… I guess.”
“You’re welcome,” my human answered dryly while sitting.
Although Zéphyr saved me, I didn’t share the same kindness:
“Wait, we’re not letting him go! Do you know who he is?”
Zéphyr. Prince of thieves. And yes, he wasn’t much of a princess either. Just an androgynous cyborg. A breakout king wanted throughout the entire system for his affiliation with the Data Brokers’ Guild. With an incredible bounty of C$800,000, she or he… whatever… was the knight of the brokers’ chessboard.
“I think we’ve had enough for today,” Ali said. “Unless you hope to go after him with these big fat guts of yours.”
“By the 79 moons of Jupiter, you shall pay for this, woman!” I meowed, angry.
My ears were backwards and my hairs were spiky. But soaking wet, it just made Ali and Zéphyr laugh.
Disgrace!
“He’s so cute when he’s furious,” he joked.
Now on his knees, the night-skinned androgynous was blotting Ali’s wound with a torn piece of fabric from his driver’s uniform.
“But more seriously, I need to go. With the bounty, you’ll be able to repair your vessel. As for the hospital fees, I will contact a good friend who will take care of you for free. She’s the ship’s chief medical officer.”
“Thank you,” I simply replied as he helped my partner get back on her feet.
“It’s the least I can do. I wasn’t interested in money. More important information is contained in this,” he said as he was picking up the floppy disk.
This golden diskette must have been worth a lot of cash for Zéphyr to play a taxicab driver to ensure coverage. I had perceived that something was fishy!
Then, halfway to his Swift-0, Zéphyr stopped. I witnessed his hesitation.
“There was nothing personal, you know. We’re all just trying to make our way. The best we can…”
And he ultimately left before adding:
“Maybe we’ll see each other again! You seem like fun.”
Before fleeing away, Zéphyr abandoned one of the boxes near the criminal’s corpse. Thus, he validated the theory of a robbery that had gone wrong. When the security arrived a few minutes later, we were the heroes of the day. And with a little bribe, nobody cared about Zéphyr’s missing ship.
This whole story surely left us a bitter taste. A feeling of defeat and humiliation that the swimming pool under the synthetic sun couldn’t make disappear even a week after.
“He undoubtedly played us as we were rookies, with his little face of a young innocent girl in distress,” I said to Ali right after the end of the daily Brett Maverick.
This old show was dispensed on a couple of giant screens suspended by drones.
Until now, Ali had remained silent on her deckchair; with a brick of sour juice stuck between her breasts and a pair of straws between her teeth. Only inaudible grunts emanated from her mouth since the departure of the sexually unclassifiable mugger.
“I wonder what information this fucking cyber-Tootsie could have been looking for in that casino,” my human mumbled as she squeaked her rainbow flip-flops.
“Admit that it’s not really that question that puts you in such a state…” I answered, now well installed on my motorized buoy that I had gotten as a gift in a diet kibbles package.
“You bet! I will have a nasty tan mark on my stomach with these bandages!” she exploded, spitting out her plastic straws with infinite curls.
My float slipped towards the ledge as a robot came to bring us our next glucose overdose.
Ali finally added:
“I swear that if we run into him again, I’ll smack his fucking angel face.”
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